May 2013
8 posts
1 tag
An untouched birthday cake surrounded by hummingbirds inside an empty discotheque
May 23rd
40 notes
1 tag
a thriving black market for the lost limbs and heads of ancient sculptures
May 21st
48 notes
1 tag
At a cemetery: most viewed this [week] [month] [all time]
May 17th
64 notes
1 tag
A topiary menagerie set on fire; the screams of the animals awaken the township.
May 17th
16 notes
1 tag
Guy Fieri sliding shrimp and pieces of steak onto his hair spikes like kabobs and laughing maniacally as he lowers his head onto a flaming grill
May 17th
421 notes
1 tag
A Guided Segway Tour of the Firebombing of Dresden.
May 3rd
21 notes
1 tag
A group of ants carrying a pair of discarded truck nutz back to their colony.
May 3rd
41 notes
1 tag
A seagull asking a jellyfish if it was locally raised and treated well before pecking at it
May 2nd
59 notes
April 2013
11 posts
1 tag
QR code where as soon as you scan it a bunch of jocks come from out of nowhere to give you a wedgie and push you into some bushes
Apr 18th
70 notes
1 tag
The most boring person in the world grinning to themselves as they stencil ‘hammertime’ onto a stop sign
Apr 17th
185 notes
1 tag
A Threadbare ‘Master Of Puppets’ T-Shirt Gets Promoted To Manager At The Cinnabon In The Rich Mall.
Apr 14th
28 notes
1 tag
An Astronaut Exits The Airlock And Enters, For The First Time, The Vacuum Of Space. There He Finds Everyone From His Third Grade Class Chanting “You Peed Yourself That One Time”.
Apr 12th
50 notes
1 tag
every time you pass by a mirror your reflection lags and glitches.
Apr 12th
120 notes
1 tag
a creature used to walking only on banana peels slips on a patch of bare ground.
Apr 12th
249 notes
1 tag
A motorcycle being driven by a sentient mound of bandanas shaped like a human being
Apr 10th
54 notes
1 tag
ancient sumerian clay tablet unearthed. inscribed: SICK OF THE HE SAYS SHE SAYS BULLSHIT
Apr 7th
53 notes
1 tag
Waka Flocka Flame accidentally setting his OS X default language to Русский then spending the rest of the night on his iPhone searching for how to change it back
Apr 6th
89 notes
1 tag
Ring of kids with empty sockets huddled reverently around a pile of eyeballs in a world where eyes are collect-n-trade like baseball cards
Apr 4th
29 notes
1 tag
a CEO, alone in his office, locking the door, then whipping a single grape at the wall as hard as he can
Apr 3rd
423 notes
March 2013
10 posts
1 tag
A Wall Of Flat Screen Televisions Showing, At Different Angles, How You Are Going To Die.
Mar 28th
58 notes
1 tag
An immense iPhone frantically searching through layers of sheets and comforters on a bed in the morning for its tiny screaming human
Mar 19th
2,082 notes
1 tag
Mitch Hedberg’s ghost slowly sneaking its way onto boxes of Rice Krispies nationwide
Mar 18th
44 notes
1 tag
Jerry Orbach Touching Our Faces As A Ray Of Warming Light.
Mar 8th
9 notes
1 tag
The sign at the post office showing the special edition stamp schedule for the year. ‘Jan. 1 - WorldstarHipHop / Feb. 1 - WorldstarHipHop / March 1 - WorldstarHipHop’ and so on
Mar 6th
13 notes
1 tag
A Taylor Swift matryoshka doll open to reveal a Jennifer Lawrence open to reveal an Anne Hathaway open to reveal a baby Kristen Stewart
Mar 5th
49 notes
1 tag
Google Glass heart
Mar 5th
19 notes
1 tag
An Amputated Limb Wondering Why It’s Body No Longer Uses Him.
Mar 5th
24 notes
1 tag
Michael Jordan’s infamous 1988 dunk contest free throw line dunk done with a head-mounted GoPro camera strapped on
Mar 4th
9 notes
1 tag
Spider from Powerman 5000 delivering a TED Talk on rogue planets.
Mar 1st
35 notes
February 2013
7 posts
1 tag
Someone on storage wars opening a trailer they just won just to find out that the only thing inside is a rotating CGI pyramid with a mouth and eyes
Feb 21st
60 notes
1 tag
A disillusioned tooth fairy turning children into teeth, watching them dissolve in cups of cola.
Feb 17th
62 notes
1 tag
An Armored Mounted Patrolman Aggressively Pushes Back Protestors While Humming ‘Cat’s In The Cradle’ And Thinking About His Stepdad.
Feb 10th
30 notes
1 tag
A computer generated man brings a hovering & rotating 3D wireframe sphere into the Pawn Stars shop and says he wants to sell it. Rick laughs in the man’s face and says there’s no market for this. The man renders the wireframe sphere with a rusty texture and tells him it’s from the 16th century. Rick stops laughing and calls in a buddy to take a look at it.
Feb 7th
105 notes
1 tag
A man, A plan, A canal, I am going to put my dick in this canal, That is the plan.
Feb 6th
66 notes
1 tag
a giant lego man steps on a human bone. he remembers the 90s. a time when the humans who created him still existed. the pain is unbearable
Feb 4th
390 notes
1 tag
A secret advertising color scheme which perfectly mimics the pain of yearning.
Feb 4th
59 notes
January 2013
11 posts
1 tag
two small kittens running into eachother head first so fast that they combine into one large cat
Jan 27th
118 notes
1 tag
Dozens of Santa’s elves stuck to the North Pole by their tongues, fat bodies in a cluster like the minuscule globes comprising a raspberry
Jan 25th
31 notes
1 tag
Someone so determined to remember the 90s that they liquify a cassette copy of Sugar Ray’s “Fly” and inject it into their veins heroin style
Jan 21st
207 notes
1 tag
A cute little kid ejecting a tape from a VCR but after it pops out another one follows and then another and another. They keep on coming and he keeps taking them and putting them down but there’s no end in sight
Jan 16th
40 notes
1 tag
The Clothes Of The World Decide Unanimously That People Are Ruining Them, Making Them Ugly. On July 14th, 2017, The Clothes Being Worn Begin To Constrict, Slowly Choking Their Wearers. The Nude Humans Are Hunted Down By Scarves And Bangles And Disposed Of. Never Again Will The Ugly Bits Of These Animals Rub On The Seams And Contours Of These Sentient Man-Made Pelts, Who Are Now Left To Roam Free...
Jan 15th
49 notes
1 tag
Jose Canseco on his first day as an Hibachi chef. He is tossing eggs in the air and trying to catch them in the tall hat but keeps missing and they keep breaking everywhere. He insists he can do it but everyone seated around the table is gathering their stuff and leaving
Jan 10th
31 notes
1 tag
Two doors that appear when you are close to dying. One will kill you quickly, but in the most painful way possible. The other will grant you immortality, but you will be stuck in a Groundhog Day-esque loop of a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese for eternity.
Jan 9th
42 notes
1 tag
A selfie of LL Bean Boots standing on a weathered New England porch with 13,276 notes, the eye of a human corpse stares up unnoticed from a crack in the porch wood.
Jan 9th
72 notes
1 tag
George Strait visits the Dischord House to see where it all began.
Jan 4th
19 notes
1 tag
Tony Montana pulling his head back from the fuzzy belly of a big Persian cat he’d been nuzzling, clumps of fine hair still stuck to his face.
Jan 2nd
9 notes
1 tag
Every discarded penny on the ground melted down and turned into one enormous penny that’s then dropped in the middle of a busy city, always getting in everyone’s way and unable to be moved
Jan 2nd
234 notes
December 2012
9 posts
1 tag
A family on Christmas morning playing with the gift cards they got - dad flies his Starbucks card through the air like a fighter plane, mom plays catch with her son using an iTunes card, the other 2 kids fight their printed out Amazon gift card and Gap gift cards like action figures
Dec 25th
338 notes
1 tag
A noose made of Christmas lights
Dec 24th
58 notes
1 tag
Michael Gira in Old Navy Performance Fleece™, shuffling around Costco wondering “What do you get the person that has absolutely nothing?”.
Dec 23rd
26 notes