A topiary menagerie set on fire; the screams of the animals awaken the township.
A project by @NoPattern
Contributors: @ActualPerson084 / @TPHD / @gregerskine / @DadBeard / @aRealLiveGhost / @famouscrab / @ConorTripler / @boring_as_heck / @leyawn / @ingmarbirdman / @drugleaf / @pushinghoops / @brendlewhat
Posts authored by "@DadBeard"
A Guided Segway Tour of the Firebombing of Dresden.
A Threadbare ‘Master Of Puppets’ T-Shirt Gets Promoted To Manager At The Cinnabon In The Rich Mall.
An Astronaut Exits The Airlock And Enters, For The First Time, The Vacuum Of Space. There He Finds Everyone From His Third Grade Class Chanting “You Peed Yourself That One Time”.
A Wall Of Flat Screen Televisions Showing, At Different Angles, How You Are Going To Die.
Jerry Orbach Touching Our Faces As A Ray Of Warming Light.
An Amputated Limb Wondering Why It’s Body No Longer Uses Him.
An Armored Mounted Patrolman Aggressively Pushes Back Protestors While Humming ‘Cat’s In The Cradle’ And Thinking About His Stepdad.
The Clothes Of The World Decide Unanimously That People Are Ruining Them, Making Them Ugly. On July 14th, 2017, The Clothes Being Worn Begin To Constrict, Slowly Choking Their Wearers. The Nude Humans Are Hunted Down By Scarves And Bangles And Disposed Of. Never Again Will The Ugly Bits Of These Animals Rub On The Seams And Contours Of These Sentient Man-Made Pelts, Who Are Now Left To Roam Free In The Corpse Strewn Expanse.
George Strait visits the Dischord House to see where it all began.
Michael Gira in Old Navy Performance Fleece™, shuffling around Costco wondering “What do you get the person that has absolutely nothing?”.
A Pack of Wild Dogs surrounding the water cooler discussing Seinfeld reruns rather than doing their jobs.
Indiana Jones’ airplane treks across the planet, it’s red-line forms the words ‘YAY FEDORA!’. Indy tries to high-five Short Round; Short Round acts like he’s asleep.
An Anthropomorphized Guided By Voices Album Shrugs It’s Shoulders And Gives Birth To Itself Again.
The collective lungs of America fill with breath and holds and holds and holds and then, under immense pressure, carbonizes and then turns to diamond and we are all rich and dead.