A motorcycle being driven by a sentient mound of bandanas shaped like a human being
A project by @NoPattern
Contributors: @ActualPerson084 / @TPHD / @gregerskine / @DadBeard / @aRealLiveGhost / @famouscrab / @ConorTripler / @boring_as_heck / @leyawn / @ingmarbirdman / @drugleaf / @pushinghoops / @brendlewhat
Posts authored by "@WeedHitler"
Mitch Hedberg’s ghost slowly sneaking its way onto boxes of Rice Krispies nationwide
Someone on storage wars opening a trailer they just won just to find out that the only thing inside is a rotating CGI pyramid with a mouth and eyes
two small kittens running into eachother head first so fast that they combine into one large cat
Someone so determined to remember the 90s that they liquify a cassette copy of Sugar Ray’s “Fly” and inject it into their veins heroin style
Two doors that appear when you are close to dying. One will kill you quickly, but in the most painful way possible. The other will grant you immortality, but you will be stuck in a Groundhog Day-esque loop of a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese for eternity.
Two tiny oranges that increase slowly but indefinitely in size until one of the two is peeled. Inside one orange is the secret to lifelong prosperity and happiness. Inside the other orange is a pocket-sized Dane Cook that just doesn’t know when to keep quiet. Upon picking your orange, you must keep your prize with you at all times for the rest of your life, under penalty of death.
Judge Dredd making a line of microwavable Asian rice dishes and naming it “Judge, Curry, and Executioner”
A Joy Division shirt made of tinier Joy Division shirts, each shirt containing its own unique inflated sense of self worth
MC Ride just cuddlin a kitten. The kitten and him are rollin around and playing games while MC Ride just says “kitty!” in a high-pitched voice. MC Ride is happy with kitty.
A bottle of febreze that smells like your childhood, but smells more and more like depression and rotten flesh the closer the bottle gets to being empty
Romney standing holding a sign that says “Stop All Scams”, while Obama, sanding next to him, holds up a sign that says “Free Jawbreakers For Everyone”. Gary Johnson, drunk and stumbling through the crowd, puts on a backward red cap and screams “DORKS” at the both of them
A white guy with dreadlocks ripping his skin off, revealing that, in lieu of organs, his body is composed of Matisyahu CDs and Asher Roth posters
Lazarus walking through a CVS, filling his cart with anti-aging cream
millions of teens wandering the astral plane, desperately searching for somewhere they can smoke cigarettes and not get caught